Thesis Statements: The Makeover Edition
Well, there’s only so much I can do to make a blog post about
thesis statements interesting, so prepare yourselves for some irrelevant cat gifs dispersed throughout.
I’m
sure most of you have had some sort of instruction on
thesis statements, but often, students will be taught simplistic methods
for
developing a thesis that they sort of latch onto rather than using the
beginner’s
method at first and then evolving toward a more complex method of thesis
development. Think about giving your thesis a makeover. That look you
had going in high school was fine for back them, but it just isn't
working for you anymore now that you're a collegiate superstar. Time to
take it to the next level!
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| Get it, thesis cat! |
So what makes a strong thesis?
- Promotes thinking: leads you to arrive at ideas, rather than just stating the obviou
- Reduces scope: separates useful evidence from the mass of details. (Sometimes students think, “I know, I’ll write a really general thesis, so I can add additional content to my body paragraphs if I need to,” but this creates a watered-down, vague argument).
- Provides direction: helps you decide what to talk about, what to talk about next, and what NOT to talk about. Imagine little arrows going from your central argument (thesis) to the analysis portions of your body paragraphs. Each new piece of analysis should build on that central argument.
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| This is why we don't tackle too much at a once. |
- Attaches you too early to a too-large idea so that you stop actually seeing the evidence in its real-life complexity or thinking about the idea itself
- Produces demonstration rather than discovery of new ideas by making the same overly general point again and again about a range of evidence
- Includes too much possible data without helping you see what’s most important to talk about. You really want to avoid facts or lists in your thesis. Save your paragraph topics and information for your body paragraphs.
A strong, productive thesis…
- usually contains tension, the balance of “this” against “that.”
- often begins with a grammatically subordinate idea that will get outweighed by a more pressing claim: “Although X appears to be about Y, it’s actually arguing Z.”
- avoids listing (like a 3-point thesis/5-paragraph essay).
- uses active verbs and specific nouns.
Here are some examples of strong and weak thesis statements
that relate to our course theme:
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| May your thesis be as strong as these cats |
Weak: Homelessness can be caused by circumstances, mental illness, or addiction.
Strong: While
homelessness is a pervasive problem in American society, homeless female vets
are an especially vulnerable population.
Weak: The
upper class lifestyle isn’t all it seems to be.
Strong: One
might assume that a child raised in the upper class has it all, but upper class
children struggle in a variety of ways.
For
your comment EITHER post your working thesis statement you're thinking
about using for your SSI OR comment on two students' thesis statements,
providing helpful/constructive feedback. FYI, I will be providing
feedback in the comments section, so you might not want to waste an
instructor feedback opportunities by responding to other students
instead of posting your own thesis statement.
Thesis is one of the important components to compose our articles. As we all know, writing an article to argue a certain topic, we have already found tens of materials to support our opinions. Making specific thesis can help us to find a better way to illustrate our sources. Instead of the simple sources we have found, we have to illustrate and clarify how the sources help us and support the topic.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. It's undoubted that thesis is a soul of paper.
DeleteThough racism is a prevailing issue in society, classism is beginning to have a seemingly equal impact. - Leighton Dennie
ReplyDeleteNice! You did a good job with the "this vs. that" formatting and the introduction of what I assume is your central term, "classism", leaves the reader wanting further explanation.
DeleteA strong thesis can be an extremely important aspect when writing an article, A good thesis can take your topic and narrow it down into the specific element that you are trying to argue, as well as making your topic not as broad a thesis should intrigue the reader and start to make them think about the topic at hand. A good thesis that incorporates all of this can be the beginning of a great paper and something that keeps the reader reading and into what you are talking about after the first sentence.
ReplyDeleteAlthough self-esteem is unique for different individuals, it is affected by the social class individuals belong to in several ways. - Haoyu He
ReplyDeleteI think your thesis does a good job providing a direction for you to start your writing, but maybe you could find a way to narrow your scope to a less broad topic. Other than that very good!
DeleteA huge gap has been existed in education in the United States for a long time and affected people from distinctive inequality problems which will probably cause severe consequences in the future decades.
ReplyDeleteYouth sports have been known to be a fair environment, but it’s unfair that the lower class kids rarely have the same opportunities as the upper class do.
ReplyDeleteWhile I think it's a good thesis, you end the sentence with a dangling participle in "do". This is totally fine for conversational English however in formal writing it's a big no-no. I would suggest trying to rephrase the sentence when you edit it for your first draft.
DeleteThis is definitely a good thesis statement! I agree with Devyn about the grammatical critique. Overall, I feel that this will be an interesting topic.
DeleteThe healthcare system in the United States of America provides different levels of care and cost to different social classes of people, this immensely effects the health and well-being of most of America.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a very good thesis statement and that it could be really good to expand on. I think this is a really interesting topic and think the paper will turn out well!
DeleteDrug abuse has been known to affect all classes and families, but addiction and abuse actually travels along the social ladder.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a good start, but try to expand more on what the traveling along the social ladder means. It travels along the social ladder, ok, but what does that mean? Who does this affect and how?
DeleteI think this is a very good thesis statement. It is not too narrow to limit your options for talking, but it gives you a wealth of options for subtopics and research. Drug abuse is a very sensitive subject, but if done correctly it can be very impactful.
DeleteWhile fast food is popular among America, people's attitudes toward it vary with social classes.
ReplyDeleteI like how you started your thesis. Very to the point, but expand a little. How do people's attitudes vary? What does this say about fast food?
DeleteThanks so much about your advice on expanding this idea! It really helps me on the following writing process.
DeleteA person's social class usually dictates their attitude and how they treat other people and situations.
ReplyDeleteWhile all grocery stores seem equal, stores targeting the lower-income earners have sneaky ways to provide lower-quality service.
ReplyDeleteIt might seem that wealthy people pay no attention to homeless people, but there are various ways in which the upper class helps those who are affected by homelessness.
ReplyDeleteCompared to children from upper-class families, children that come from low-income homes have many disadvantages when it comes to receiving an education.
ReplyDeleteChildrens future social classes are directly tied to the people they grow up with, where they grow up, and how they grow up in what they believe in.
ReplyDeleteA good strong thesis statement should not to be too broad and inconclusive. For my current theme topic is the relationship between income and the American social class, which is broad. So I focused more on the income inequality in America: the impact of income inequality affect people’s social statue negatively in U.S.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible that pending research this weekend, my research question is about to change. That said, this is my current working thesis statement:
ReplyDelete“They attend the same schools, read the same books, and watch the same TV programming, but 12.3% of the population is speaking a different language than the rest of the nation. Due to physical and environmental factors, the different socioeconomic classes process language and communicate with different tools and meanings.”
I’m still working on wording, but I am trying to build the dichotomy so that I can spend my argument slowly resolving it.
Education inequality throughout America is a growing concern as the political system must try to pull the lower class out of poverty.
ReplyDeleteAlthough affluent teenagers seem to get everything they desire, underlying obstacles can hinder their lives in a number of ways.
ReplyDeleteThe sports industry has popular athletes that came from lower social classes, so everyone deserves an opportunity to grow based on their talent rather than their level of social class.
ReplyDeleteWhile many families are quite close, social class has a direct impact on how well they can stay together.
ReplyDeleteI'm having trouble as to what to focus my thesis on, how the government aids/doesn't aid the lower-class or how income inequality and race are related. I have a couple ideas:
ReplyDeleteIn America, while income inequality coincides with many different issues it is prominently synonymous with race.
Though the United States government does have public assistance programs, they have the power to greatly reduce income inequality in America more than they do now.
- ava giambona
DeleteCompared with the poor people's poverty in life, helping the poor people to reduce their poverty in mind is the key to solve the problem of the large number of poor people in America
ReplyDeleteMy statement: Discrimination changes how people choose their fashion style in United States.
ReplyDelete-jingqiu
The marketing campaigns of American industries drive social class standards and set goals that are difficult for most Americans to achieve. -Jeremy Clevenger
ReplyDeleteAlthough education inequality makes it easier for upper class Americans to enjoy high-quality education resources and stabilize their social class compared with lower class Americans, education is still an important way for Americans of all social classes to maintain and improve their social class.
ReplyDeleteAlthough there is a huge wealth gap between upper class and lower class, society has already pay attention to poverty for helping them overcome the economic problem and give them enough education opportunities.
ReplyDeleteAlthough modern technology has provided many benefits and opportunities to society, these opportunities have been unequally distributed to different socioeconomic classes. - Josh Dickson
ReplyDeleteDespite the higher education seems to be more affordable nowadays, the recent data shows that participation of young people from working-class groups has remained persistently low.
ReplyDelete-Xinghang Ma
People's unconditional sympathy is processing homelessness' dependent on the society, they are getting less ambition and thinking nothing about getting out of the rock bottom if there needs are satisfied easily.
ReplyDeleteEducation has been regarded as an effective way to change one's social class. However, education itself is a reflection of social class. -Xiyue Guo
ReplyDeleteReducing food loss and waste is one of the key strategies to combat hunger and sustainably feed the world .
ReplyDeleteAs the working class continues to grow and become more diverse, the wage gap is continuing to rise.
ReplyDeleteIn my view, thesis is an important role for a good paper. It determines a topic to discuss. Thus, creating a thesis is very important begining.
ReplyDeleteAlthough Democrats and Republicans have proposed solutions to curbing the disparity of incomes between the different social classes, the gap has continued to grow to the proportions of the Gilded Age.
ReplyDelete- Ronak Tripathy
The rising problem of income inequality has taken deep roots into the physical and geographical attributes of an average American by segregating into divided societies.
ReplyDeleteSocial media is widely used in today's society to connect with friends, family and even meet new people. But people are becoming engrossed into their social statuses online and can be linked to depression and anxiety.
ReplyDeleteLooking at photographs of the elite's lifestyle can be a surreal experience; exuberant mansions, fast cars, and much more paint a picture of luxury. However, in a country where some cannot even afford a roof over their head, one may ask the question of just how unequal wealth is distributed in America.
ReplyDeleteEven though the levels of social classes are affected by the income and wealth, occupational presitage, and education, sometimes status iinconsistency still happens, like pollice, teachers, and so on.
ReplyDelete